Relationship anxiety refers to feelings of doubt, insecurity and the need for constant reassurance from your partner. This is fairly normal, but if those feelings grow and creep into your daily life, they could be a sign that the anxiety that you are feeling is not because of your relationship, it may be due to something that has happened in your life.

Signs of relationship anxiety

If you have found a partner whom you love, trust and have built a great relationship with, based on mutual respect, understanding and communication but you still find yourself questioning your relationship, this may be a sign that your anxiety is something more than normal fears we all have from time to time.

Do you find yourself constantly doubting your partner’s feelings for you? Are you worried that they don’t really love you, even though they do and say all the right things? If these find yourself fixating on these fears, it may be a sign that something else is wrong.

Do you feel insecure, always worried that the relationship won’t last, waiting for them to say the relationship is over? This may affect how you communicate with your partner. You might even avoid saying or doing anything you think your partner won’t like, fearing they may break up with you. You may avoid conflict or worry about your partner getting angry with you, even if they’ve never shown signs of doing so previously.

Do you find yourself doubting how compatible you are with your partner, worrying that the relationship has no long term future? You may even find yourself sabotaging the relationship, picking arguments or pushing your partner away as you worry that there is no future together. Again, this could be a sign that the relationship isn’t the issue,  and it is time to search for answers from within.

Reasons behind relationship anxiety

There are many reasons why, when you are in a strong and healthy relationship, you may still have relationship anxiety.

You may have an anxious attachment style. This could be due to the relationships you had with your parents and caregivers when you were younger. Your relationship experiences in childhood form the blueprint for future relationships. If you didn’t feel loved or cared for when you were younger, it can cause you to cling to your partner when you are older, feeling insecure and that they are going to leave you.

Once bitten, twice shy is a well known saying about being hurt by past experiences and how it makes you more cautious in future. If you have had a negative relationship, a difficult break up or a relationship in which you felt unloved, unvalued, unattractive, or worthless, this can have a damaging effect on your self esteem which, if not addressed, will affect all future relationships.

Do you suffer from low self esteem and low confidence? If so, this will naturally affect your relationships. If you don’t value yourself, and appreciate all that you have to offer, then you will probably question why your partner is with you.

If you feel that your anxiety levels are unmanageable and you need some support, Psychotherapy Surbiton can help you find ways to cope with your stress and restore balance to your life.